Chronic Asthma
12 October

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I had never witnessed Ross having a chronic asthma attack before and it was really quite scary.

One minute he was simply rolling onto his side in bed; the next minute he was putting the light on and struggling for breath and not being able to speak to let me know what to do.

I did wonder about getting a paper bag for him to blow into and I did get him sat up so that I could rub his back. Then I followed instructions to get his peak flow meter and make him a drink of tea with some honey in it.

I also got dressed. I felt that if I was going to have to race him to Casualty then I should be prepared.

Anyhow, after the fuss had died down, I asked about the paper bag thing but, apparently, that is for hyper-ventilation and would have done more damage than good for an asthma attack.

We've done the doctor bit and got medication and, having used the miracle of the Internet, I'm clearer about what happened and what I should do if there's a recurrence.

As far as I've known, Ross has always had mild asthma. I now know that some fifteen years ago, he had a spell of really bad asthma so he knew what was happening. For me, it was a disturbing experience.

Anyhow, it's all done now but we won't be going to his sister's daughter's christening this weekend. We'll have a quiet weekend at home instead.

Also, Ross and I have now got rid of one of those barriers that occasionally springs up between long standing couples. Privacy is a good thing; secrets are not. It is now no longer a secret between us that Ross smokes. I'm not happy about it and I think that there are far better things that he could be doing with his money. But, at least, neither of us have to go through the charade of pretending that it isn't happening.

And with that, the possibility of going through with a civil union is back on the medium term agenda. We'd talked about these things two years ago but then things wobbled a bit. Now, well we'll see.

In September, I was to have gone to FACT in Liverpool to see a live telecast of the opening night of the new season Covent Garden - Don Giovanni. I'd booked this back in July and had been looking forwards to hearing Charles Mackerras conduct and listening to Joyce DiDonato sing. In the event, I didn't go - I was so wound up about work at the time that I knew that I simply would not enjoy myself and so I gave it a miss.

Now, the Royal Opera has put the whole thing out on its website for free downloading. Frankly, the video quality is not top notch and some of the sound is peculiar - the applause sounds as though it's coming from under water. However, it is good to have caught up with Simon Keenlyside and Kyle Ketelsen as Don Giovanni and his servant Leporello and Joyce DiDonato's first-ever Elvira. And, as ever, Mackerras conducts Mozart wonderfully and encourages his singers to ornament their vocal line with tact and discretion.