Polishing the Past
27 October

Whilst I was off work recently, I started off re-designing earlier editions of this Electronic Journal to bring in cascading style sheets and frames so as to help with standardised formatting and navigation.

(BTW the doctor tells me I have had the nasty pulmonary infection that has been going around Crosby and I'm now on antibiotics and feeling much better as a consequence)

So far, I've completed 1996 and 1997.

If you took the trouble to follow those links you'll see that the look and feel is now very much like this year's EJ. Frames only became part of the grand design in 1999 and cascading style sheets made their appearance that year after in 2000.

I've also been reading the entries as I've been correcting the HTML (and some more of the spelling errors). 1996 was a very good year, most enjoyable and, of course, I met my Rossi. 1997 started off very well and became a headlong flight towards anxiety as Ross became ill. Interestingly, I wrote much less in 1997 in these Journals than I did in 1996. I also found that I slowed in my work of revision as I approached what I knew would be painful memories.

However, all of this prompted me to think about the last six years and I came up with the following description of my life.

1996

The year of energy and joy

1997

The year of decline and calamity

1998

The year of crisis and rebirth

1999

The year of rebuilding and courage

2000

The year of transition and focus

2001

The year of consolidation and contentment

I also found, as I read, that the areas of doubt and friction that exist between Ross and I emerged very early in our relationship. For example, by mid October of 1996 (just over three months after I first met him) I was complaining that he doesn't communicate. By early February of the following year I was listing some minor irritations. When we were on holiday later in the year, I was concerned about the lack of small talk between the two of us.

I don't find it dispiriting that those issue continue to crop up. They are, I suppose, the grit in our oyster that produces the pearl. What I do know is that we are aware of these things and try to not let them trip us up where we may. And we know each other better now and are more pliant with each other's foibles.

I also found that, in many instances, Ross's memory of events is better than mine.

I told him, when we went to see Rigoletto a little while ago, that it was the first time he had seen the work. He said that he had seen it but I insisted. He was right. We had seen the ENO production together back in 1996 not long after we first met.

I told him, when we went to visit Colin a little while ago, that it was the first time he had been there. He said that he had been there but I insisted. He was right. We had visited Colin together in November 1996 again not long after we first met.

I told him, when we went to see Katy'a Kabanova during the summer, that it was the first time he had seen the work. He said that he had seen it but I insisted. He was right. We had seen the Royal Opera production together in May 1997.

I should really trust Ross's memory more than I do.

Remember that I read a book called K-PAX recently and said that I thought that it would be made into a Hollywood film. Well it has.

Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey star which gives me hope that it may live up to my own imaginings.

Anyhow, read it yourself soon before it becomes more widely known. Then you can say at dinner parties how much you enjoyed it when you read it some time ago.