I feel as though the last six months has been one great parenthesis.
For example, as I said in the last posting, I got ill last November. I believe that I lived with an ongoing chest infection for nearly six months before two courses of antibiotics cleared it up. For the whole of that time, I was living in a diminished state.
During that time, I guess that I was sleeping more lightly anyway. Ross's snoring exacerbated the situation. But I placed the blame with him and not with the chest infection. I took to sleeping in the spare bedroom. The rational was for me to get a good night's sleep and it seemed like a good idea at the time. The consequence was that Ross wasn't able to hear how nighttime breathing was being affected (not that he would have said anything - come to think of it) and that it felt to me that we were drifting apart.
Well, post illness Ross and I talked a bit about this.
He had been to spend a week with his parents just before Easter and had heard his mother say to his father that they been married for nearly forty years and yet he still didn't talk to her. Ross said that he didn't want this to happen to him (amen to that I say).
So, currently, we are making a bit more of a conscious effort to talk more and not read books during meal times and do more things together even simple stuff like shopping, gardening and household tasks. And, as part of this, I've stopped sleeping in the spare bedroom. Funnily, Ross's snoring is not keeping me awake as much these days.
Last summer, I took the decision to pursue the possibility of becoming a primary school teacher. In September, I started voluntary work at a local primary school in Litherland and really enjoyed it. In December, I downloaded the application form for the Graduate Training Programme and I've been working on the form ever since. I posted the form off just before Easter and I've just heard that I didn't even get an interview.
I'm really saddened by this, not least because it means that I shall be staying on at Connect for some more time. However, though I'm bowed, I'm not beaten. I have enjoyed the work. What I need to do now is to find out what the alternative options are and to prepare my campaign for next year.
So, the parenthesis has closed. It's time to mull things over. But it's also time to move forward.
And, in doing so, I think that I need to accept the passing of time and acknowledge, sadly, that I am now past the first flush of middle age.