Much Ado About Nothing
23 January

Well, I seem to be making good progress.

I'm certainly a lot more active if the ironing test is anything to go by. During the Festive season, when my malaise was at its worst, it took me three days to work my way through a pile of ironing. I could manage about half a dozen shirts before either mental or physical fatigue set in. Today, to the accompaniment of Mozart and Chopin on Radio 3, I polished off another pile of shirts in three quarters of an hour.

I've also been trying to get out a bit. Dr Dye has encouraged me to take exercise and I'm also concerned that, if I stay indoors all the time, I shall become institutionalised and find re-integration at a later date even more difficult than it's going to be anyway.

So at the moment, it's full steam ahead and the whole thing seems like a storm in a teacup.

I met up with Colin and his friend, Brendan, for a lunchtime concert at the Phil which included a duet for violin and cello by Martinu and Korngold's sextet. I think I liked the Martinu more than the Korngold but that could simply be because it was shorter. My mind tended to wander during the Korngold. Still I was very pleased that I got myself into town and around the shops without any mishaps.

I bought some DVDs of Ealing comedies in the HMV sale. For all their fame, I had never seen The Ladykillers or The Lavender Hill Mob or Kind Hearts and Coronets before and they are a pleasure through and through. Very gently nasty.

Ross and I have also managed, at last, to get to see The Return of the King. Whilst I don't want to detract from the overall magnificence of the achievement, I was somewhat disappointed with this film. I felt that, in terms of spectacle, I had seen it all before - strange palaces, massing armies, large scale battles, etc.

What I was most interested in was how it would end and there I think judgement will have to be suspended until the release of the extended DVD. Clearly a lot was cut and, because of some narrative re-shuffling, Frodo and Sam end up having to scale a complete mountain in the time it takes two armies to assemble. Wholly unlikely. So, I think that this film gets three stars whilst the cycle as a whole gets four.

Ross, meanwhile, seems to have taken three steps back. Last week, Sue (Ross's care assistant) and I were saying how well he was doing. I felt that, because I was somewhat diminished, it had given him space to grow. He was being far more assertive and far more gently giving to me. Well, bringing his attention to all of this was clearly a mistake because, very quickly, he has taken a backward turn and has become much more introspective and less interested in doing things to make things better for himself and us.

For example, whilst I've been home, he's not once taken himself off to him quiet area to meditate and collect himself. Nor has he done any of the yoga and breathing exercises he was practising. Nor has he made any concerted efforts to get in contact with his healer. And then, to cap it all, whilst we were sitting watching The Salon on TV, one of the treatments being shown was acupuncture for someone with ME and there was much talk of this being beneficial as it boosted both energy levels and the immune system and Ross has not shown a glimmer of interest in this whatsoever.

I do get ratted off by this passivity and lack of endeavour when it comes to improving his wellbeing.

Elsewhere, we've been inundated by technology. We've variously acquired a breadmaker, a shredder and a light box. Now, we'll have to see what we do with all of these.