Well, all of a sudden, it's gone hot on us. It happened round about 2pm yesterday afternoon. Typically, I'd dressed for the morning's weather in my fleecy black and white lumberjack-type shirt and it was shortly after the dehydration headache started that I realised that it would be a good idea to strip down to my tee-short before I keeled over with the heat.
You can tell how sudden this has all been by looking at my washing line. Firstly, this is one of the first lines of washing that I've had out this year. Secondly, among the whites glinting brightly in the breeze are a pair of my longjohns. It is only just over a week ago, the Friday before the Bank Holiday that the wind was so grippingly chill that I felt the need of them. Now, I'm prancing around in my stripy shorts and a salmon pink polo shirt.
Just to report, Thursday night I had my first healing session with Margaret. It was very interesting and I want to think some more about it before I add anything more here.
Some things are definitely loosening, however. This morning, as I completed my ablutions, whilst listening to John Peel's Radio 4 programme Home Truths (certainly one of the best programmes on the radio at present), I was reduced to tears by one of the listeners' contributions about panic attacks. I remembered the first major panic attack I had 20 years ago on Tottenham Court Road. It was the product of ten years or more internalised self-doubt and worry and led, by the autumn, to my coming out. And I realised suddenly that I was still carrying with me, thirty years on, the baggage and detritus of my adolescence. And I wept. And I feel tearful even now typing these words to describe the events.
Shortly, I'm off to the big Garden Centre out by Harlow with my next door neighbour Kathy. Later on, Gill is coming round and we'll watch Brassed Off together. Tomorrow is going to be a gardening day and then in the evening I'll be off into town to attend a play with Matthew, Vicki and Adrian from uk.glb.
Last night when I was planning all this out, I realised that I was rigidly timetabling away free time into structured time. So, I started to write in words like smile, relax and laugh. I'm sure I shall.