December
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1 David Bowie in the White House Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, as aging rapper DTRump puts the finishing touches to his latest, lame album Snatch, the President-Elect wonders about soft furnishings in the Oval Office.

2 drinking beer at The Black Bull in Gateacre Cheeky pint with Finn (Adam) and Brad (Adam).

Finn and Brad

FinnBradBrad as Chad in porn

I lke this very literal interpretation of what the buildings for a National Portrait and a National Lanscape Gallery might look like.

Portrait and Landscape

3 Aintree Racecourse Retail Park Good work. Bought fire mortar at B&Q, cat litter and crunchy bits at Pets at Home, stationery at Range and now a micro SD card at Currys - all before midday. The most difficult part of the whole operation was getting Ross up early. Haha.

Ross in Curry's

5 Xmas decorations and cushions

Xmas decorationsXmas cushions

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6 "A spiky, sparkly threat waiting at the end of each year and it's made even more terrible by the appearance of a sinister fat man who knows what you’ve done…" Christmas as described by someone living with their own personal variety of autism.

Splendid that so many theatres are now offering relaxed performances of their Pantos so that lots of young people can now enjoy a part of Christmas that would otherwise be out of bounds for them.

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10 A sherry at Lunya to warm the heart and stomach

Me drinking sherry outside at Lunya

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Jamie's Kitchen 10 Jamie's Kitchen in Liverpool Clark's Christmas Family Gathering

Jamie's KitchenJamie's Kitchen

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Small tree 11 With all due ceremony, this year's tree is unfurled. Glenda Clark Is that going to be your minimalistic look this year?

Small tree with baubles Ross has had a fabulous time this morning hanging his glittering baubles on our tree. Now it's the moment Trevor has been waiting for... TINSEL!!!!

Small tree with tinsel I know. I know. You simply cannot have too much tinsel on your tree.

Small tree with alternate red and white lights I think our tree is about to suffer a catastrophic warp core breach.

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For anyone who's not yet in the Christmas spirit, how about a kiss under the missile toe?

Kiss under the missile toe

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15 In her biography of Voltaire entitled The Friends of Voltaire, Evelyn Beatrice Hall encapsulated the great man's beliefs with the stirring line "I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it".

Voltaire himself never uttered the phrase. Nevertheless, it has become one of the great rallying cries for Freedom of Speech.

Critics of the Don't Fund Hate campaign duly trot it out when, for example, they say that, using economic pressure to persuade John Lewis to cease advertising in the Daily Mail, denies the organisation its right to promote itself where it chooses.

Really?

I went back to the original sources just to check and I can honestly say that neither Evelyn Beatrice Hall nor Voltaire ever said anything like "I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it and, to show what a jolly good sport I am, I am going to pump money into your organisation so that you can peddle your nasty, scaremongering bilge to the widest possible readership".

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I've been performing archaeology in the dumping ground that my workroom had become. Among the many items of passing personal interest that I uncovered was this little beauty from the far-off land of 1984.

International Garden Festival pass

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NT Live: No Man's Land 15 Ian McKellen – Spooner Patrick Stewart – Hirst Damien Molony – (Jack) Foster who was in Humans ej12008.htm Owen Teale – Briggs Writer: Harold Pinter Director: Sean Mathias Pinter's No Man's Land

NT Live: No Man's LandNT Live: No Man's Land

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NT Live: No Man's Land 1975NT Live: No Man's Land 1975

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17 French onion soup with toasted cheesy bread

French onion soup

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18 Modern Manners No 54 in a continuing series: When Christmas shopping for presents for your mother, what is the correct way to enquire of a female sales assistant "Do you have a woolly muff?"

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19 So many Monday mornings during the 80s and 90s were heralded in with the greeting "Good morning Sue and good morning John and good morning everybody." Shalom Rabbi Blue. Go well.

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24 Ross has completed this year's Christmas cakes - a traditional Chocolate Fudge Sponge Cake likely to be acceptable to my 89-year-old mum and her lack of robust dentistry and a Rich Fruit Cake topped with nuts which is not.

Xmas chocolate cakeXmas fruit cake

24 Ross did the floristry for Xmas - there's no end to his talents.

Xmas flowersXmas flowers

Ross's painting 24 We worked hard to decorate the dining room with wall hangings and dangly Christmas things.

Wall hangingWall hanging

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25 Home Alone mix up with the series taking an unexpected change of direction.

Home Alone Adult Film

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26 Mum's Christmas visit was brought to a successful conclusion with Xmas sofa hugs.

Ross and GraceMe and mum

Now that mum has gone, we can continue enjoying the Chocolate Fudge Christmas Sponge Cake. Huzzah!!!

Chocolate Fudge Christmas Sponge Cake

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27 Desmond Tutu

As an old man, I can say this again. Start where you are and realise you are not meant on your own to resolve all of these massive problems. My heart leaps with joy at discovering the number of people who say "we want to make a better world". And you will be surprised at how it can get to be catching. Do what you can, where you can.

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Peruvian Roast pork belly, sea bass and pillau rice. I've enjoyed it. 3 clean plates. Unconvinced by Peruvian beer though. The guys on the next table are reminiscing about their nan who was 85 when she died, worked in the factory canteen and used to go around with her baps on a trolley. Game lass, then.

Booked tickets for Scottish Opera's Marriage of Figaro on 5 January. Got exactly the seats I wanted which doesn't sound good for a full house.

29 Kai - St Helens Waiting for Kai who's been delayed. Harrumph!!

KaiKai

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31 Moving with all the speed and half the grace of a sloth on Mogadon this morning for no apparent reason - deffo not self-inflicted to forestall any questions.

Bright sky and a fairly free motorway are among the blessings of driving a distance this New Year's Eve. Less wonderful was the low sun through the skeletal trees producing the sort of dramatic stroboscopic effect that can distract even the most careful driver.

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